Forever loved?

I guess we had lots of ups and down, and supposely i still remember ever little things that had happen throughout the past year. i guess i do love him at points. Although, i still can not guaranteed this forever love will go further on. I do not think that my feelings are game toward him as he may think that it is. I do at point love him and that's only when i feel greatly secured around him. Although, i do have lots of opportunity out there for me. I have lots of arguments with my mom and i don't think its cause of him. Even if i had thought about moving out with him, i believe i will not be happy even though staying with her has not made me happy. i just know that as a daughter i will always be there to help her, even when it upsets me. As for him time will tell.......

should i give it another shot?

i am not sure.... if i should give it another shot.... i still do care... my mind is always there... i have never wanted to move forward as if something is pulling me back to him. i thought  i have decided but i am still clueless. Maybe i just need more time? Although, i wonder were those truthful words that come from him or are those lies? Does he really mean that much to me? Is he really worth all those pains and tears if it ever happens again? Can i really put up with it?
What will happen if i were to chose to move on? Does it mean that he really ends up on the streets like he said he was?

Will i really give up on everything?

i still do care...

i still do love...

i still think about it...

and yet i might as well give it one more shot?

Yes indeed has had enough

had enough of attitude

had enough of complaints

had enough of chances

its just time to give it up

no point of holding onto something that doesn't belong to you

no point of tearing when your tears aren't there

no point of giving you hugs and kisses when i don't get any in return

you said that we are over okai then we are done and over...

there is so much more important things to worry about then to only think about this.  

i feel much more relax now that you had made your decision

you said it was best for me

ok then i'll follow the things you said.

it hurts but i wiill learn to move on

i'm not going to cry for you

i'm going to learn and grow

you are my past and whoaaa it hurts to go back to the past..

12/4/09 not finish

Another day that has last and yet still the same.
I have not yet been decided and don't know when.
Winter is coming and its been very cold
i'm afraid of this truth that will never be told.

12-2-09

Yesterday i got up at 8, go to school then work. At work i was shredding more papers when i got done i went and sat at the front desk to answer calls. While my other co worker went to her appointment. At that time i met a new friend named Tony one of CCA's client. It was quite an interesting conversation we had. During that time i was still some-what upset because someone had gotten me quite pissed off. All because i assume that he was doing something behind my back. Still he got me mad because he was talking to some new people that i didn't know of . Asking that girl if she likes initial d too or whatever he was implying. In my head all i was thinking is " yea his cheating on me all right" i dont' need to put up with this guy.......... i wonder can i even last with him... This wasn't the first time we argue about this and i never like to do this..... i never wanted to act like this or even be so upset and etc. i just wanted to be Happy that's all i'm asking for is it that hard to be happy? Same song stuck in my head when i was at linh's wedding. It was perfectly every girls dream of to be with someone who can take care of them and everything else... well gotta end it here..